Ok so yesterday's post was all for loving America! Wooo! But a few comments in recent comics have reminded me how much I love old political cartoons, and now I am making a post about that. Unfortunately for you, America, this means you are out of luck! Little did you know, because you don't give two damns about Canada ever, but we care lots and lots about you. We know all about you! We also think you are out to get us. Allow me to show you a thing or two. 

I am up really late. What have I been eating??

http://img57.imageshack.us/img57/3334/whatfriendsareforcopyvv5.png

I felt like that last entry was a little too earnest, so here I am completely ruining the effect by graphically illustrating my comment about making over my friends to meet my emotional needs. If I ever miss anybody this much, Blake has my permission to tase me. Actually anybody has my permission to tase me if they can catch me.

I'm in a really good/awful mood. It's extraordinarily difficult to tell which. I'm excited about finally having broadband and cable, but I'm sad too, for various reasons that I vowed would never become the focus of this blog. There are some things I keep under lock and key. And I'm not just talking about my secret stock of mini butterfingers and M&Ms.

I asked Sarah if she wanted to have lunch with me on the 2nd since I was going to help out at the office. Then all of a sudden she had the baby on Tuesday, as if the prospect of lunch with me was so horrific that she spontaneously gave birth a month early at the very notion. Nevertheless, now she is stuck in bed recovering from the C-section so I can write whatever I want about her and she won't know about it if this entry gets buried over the next week or so. Unless Jennifer tells her. I think they set it up this way on purpose.

I saw pictures of Micah but I still could not connect the squirming life form in the pictures with the large spherical mass that Sarah had been toting around like a kangaroo pouch for eight months. I did not see the actual Micah, and this fact may have contributed largely to my inability to put two and two together. I am not a baby person. I don't understand where they come from or what they want from us. The concept of a miniature human being suspended in uterus goo does not register completely. I regret not asking to feel Sarah's belly during his spells of movement almost as much as I regret not getting started on that Youtube series sooner. I feel like I denied myself a really moving experience (pun not intended).

With that said, I am going to miss her terribly. I could have one of my friends dress up in a blonde wig and glasses and talk about pixies but it just wouldn't have the same uplifting effect. There is something uniquely nice about Sarah, like the fresh smell of a dryer sheet. I almost said something sweet but it got weird in the end like everything else. But the uniquely nice thing about Sarah is that she takes both the sweet and the weird, and processes the weird into more sweet by some strange chemical reaction. Some people can only digest one or the other, and it's more exhausting to shut one of the valves off than it is to keep one butt cheek squeezed all day. When I have been squeezing an awful lot sometimes it's a pleasant experience to be gently sedated. But I don't think she realizes that I'm not half asleep all the time.

Hopefully I won't find sedative so hard to come by when I'm in college. It's too bad the glut squeezing is only metaphorical because otherwise I would eventually have a really firm butt and I would win either way.

Love you Sarah!

Not that Nova Scotia (which at the time was both Nova Scotia and New Brunswick together) didn't try to go make themselves Americans back in the day because some totally did.

On the other hand, you could take this comic as John Campbell's words becoming true.

Happy Independence Day, America!

Alternately there is this

I like the fat pony

What japery we have here! And then when I leave here at the end of the summer I think I shall never return.

It isn't politicians, but there is still squabbling. It is the backbone of our country! Happy Canada Day!

While I was updating my facebook status I heard this otherworldly moan from the direction of the hallway and I worked that into my status somehow. It sounded like background noise from the Silent Hill movie. Unfortunately nearly everything sounds like background noise from the Silent Hill movie. Is it possible to have post-traumatic stress from a movie? Does pyramid head watch me in the shower? So anyway Andy is still asleep and he was probably having a nightmare or something. Those damn pidgeons... and Brangelina...

Yesterday morning I had a hangover due to my overindulgence in my own ineptitude. The night before, Sunday night, I thought about nothing but what a horrible person I am until I was practically wailing with self-hatred. It's a practice I haven't participated in for quite a while and something I thought I was completely over with. I find it very shameful but I don't mind talking about it matter-of-factly. I didn't progress into full blown depression. That's something I haven't experienced for at least a year. Occassionally I would crawl into a pit of self-hatred and melancholy. Tomoko and I called it "the dark place," which actually made it sound sort of cute, especially when she would hunch over and whisper it in her little Japanese girl voice. All cuteness aside, it was a place I hated to visit, and fortunately I haven't checked in at all since I moved to Evansville.

What really gets me is that I felt so pitiful that I went crying to Sarah and Blake about how sorry I am that I suck. I can't recall how many times I've done this but it needs to stop because it's stupid and I totally do not suck. I rock so hard it gives me and people in the immediate vacinity whiplash from all the rockin' head banging that goes on when I'm present... 'cause I rock. I'm not conceited at all, it's completely true.

In other news I might have mild TMJ. Jolly times.

I've begun work on a project that will make half the human population think I'm an artistic genius and the other half think I'm a baby shaking nut. It's about an infant with an overdeveloped brain who smokes and drinks and verbally abuses her single mother when they're by themselves, but acts like a normal child when other people are present. It's a dark comedy of sorts and it's fantastic, just admit it. I was thinking about a comic I once read about in a character design book that was about a little boy in a devil playsuit, and I wanted to go in the more depraved direction with my comics. My main inspiration was Yoshitomo Nara, one of my favorite artists, and his freakishly mature little girls. Cute but provocative... it's great. People will totally hate me.

Welcoooommeee to John A. MacDonald and George Brown Confederation Theatre. I started off making a comic with a joke, then decided to make a comic about a conversation. Maybe tomorrow there will be one for the holiday with a joke.

For those of you who don't know the history of our fair country, Confederation happened when delegates from a bunch of provinces got together and bickered all day then partied all night.

Here is the famous picture of them at the Charlottetown Conference (there were 3), and the best part about it is that everyone in this photo is hungover.

Hey yeah wait a minute I knew I forgot something. Posted this and fell asleep.

I have made some noise about having forgotten how to draw on twitter, this has caused me some stress, but I seem to have managed to point myself back in the right direction. 3 good panels (4, 6, 8) and 5 that can be best described as "well-intentioned" is about average for me I guess.

READING LATELY: Finished Stephen Fry's autobiography (good), The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time (quick, very decent for something that is that much of a novelty, only problem was that I was hoping for more elements I would have to "decode"), and am half way through God is Actually Not So Good After All You Guys by Christopher Hitchens. Also got a copy of the collected ANSWER Me!, which has delivered exactly what it promised, Jim Goad had a brain tumor the size of a plum removed earlier this month, I can reasonably assume it was related to the last comic I did.